Addilyn Grant

While I had a few minutes to myself with both kids sleeping I thought I would use the time to write down Addilyn's birth story.

So beginning the night of Friday, July 3 I was up most of the night with painful contractions. After being up with them for awhile, I woke Jake up around 1:00 am and asked if he would help me time them, he graciously agreed. After timing them for an hour he felt like we needed to go to the hospital since they were very consistent, coming every 3 minutes and lasting between 40 and 60 seconds.  I was so nervous to get in the car and head to the hospital because I didn't want to get sent home like I did with Kason. We also would have had to call Jake's cousin over to come and sleep with Kason, and I didn't want to disturb her unless it was the real deal. I decided to call Labor and Delivery and see what they thought.  They recommended taking some Tylenol and if the Tylenol didn't help then to come in. Unfortunately, the Tylenol helped and I fell asleep around 4:30. We were kind of disappointed in that we were hoping for a 4th of July baby. The 4th of July weekend was fun, but no baby in sight. On Monday morning I woke up feeling a little off, and began to once again get my hopes up.  As the day went on, I began to feel better and better, much to my disappointment. That night we went to bed around 10:30-11:00.  About 11:30 I began to feel some contractions, but nothing major. I decided to take some Tylenol and see if that made them go away or not. By 12:00 am they were feeling pretty intense and I began to time them. Once again, they were coming very regularly and lasting a minute, but they weren't any more painful than the ones I felt a few nights before. At 12:30 they really picked up, I woke Jake up and told him that I thought it was time to go to the hospital. He jumped out of bed as if he had been expecting it the whole time! We quickly called his cousin (who lives next door) and she was over here in a minute. As we left, I told her I was really sorry if it wasn't the real deal and we were sent home. ( I was still feeling like I might get sent home.)

Although, by the time we arrived at the hospital at 12:45 I was feeling pretty confident that the baby was coming. They quickly hooked me up to the monitors and we discovered that I was at a 7! A 7 for reals? I got all the way to a 7 that quickly? Well, then the panic set in. With Kason I missed my window for an epidural and I was panicking that I would once again miss the window since you can't be past an 8 to get one.  Lucky for me there were four other women having babies that morning and the anesthesiologist was already at the hospital ready to roll. Around 1:30 I got my epidural and he told me I shouldn't have waited so long to come in....well I didn't wait that long, I only had contractions for an hour before we made the quick decision to come in. The epidural was great, it eased the pain and for a couple of hours I could actually enjoy the experience. Around 3:00 the pain started to get really intense and sure enough I was complete and ready to have a baby.  They called my doctor at 3:05 and my amazing doctor was in my room at 3:12, scrubbed up with a smile on his face.  He broke my water at 3:15 and  I began pushing.

Sweet baby Addi entered this world at 3:23 AM on July 7, 2015. Weighing in at 7 lbs. 15 oz, measuring 21 inches long. She beat her brother by 2 ounces and 1/2 an inch. We spent all day Tuesday and Tuesday night at the hospital and we were headed home by 11:00 on Wednesday morning. She was born with a head full of blonde hair just like her brother and she is a complete sweetheart. Other than being a little jaundiced, she is healthy and happy. Although, she hates being on the jaundice light bed. Kason loves her dearly, he loves to give her kisses and hold her. He also likes to watch her as she sleeps and say, " Be-be Ah-ee seeping."  (Baby Addi sleeping.) He is learning how to adjust to having a baby sister around, it is difficult for him sometimes to have share his mom with her, but overall he is handling it better than expected. He also doesn't like having to be quiet all of the time.

Addilyn Grant

Kason meeting his baby sister for the first time

First family picture

Jake spending time with Addi

More getting to know each other

Kason sure loves "his" bee-bee Ah-ee

Spending time on her bili-bed. She hated it!

As a little side note, if you read Kason's birth story, I mention how my dad predicted his due date. (Kason was born on his due date of August 19, 2013) and my dad predicted that he would be born on exactly his due date. Well my dad did it again! My official due date for Addilyn was July 10, 2015. At my 18 week ultrasound for her she was measuring a few days big to be born on July 7.  The doctor didn't move my due date since it was only by a few days, but knowing this, my dad predicted that she would come on her unofficial due date of July 7, 2015, and what do you know? Addi was born on exactly that....July 7, 2015. That is twice now that he has correctly predicted my baby's due date! With my next baby if I want to know when he/she will come I will just ask my dad since he has a pretty good track record!

Hello All!

Um whoa! I just realized today how long ago my last post was! When I started this blog years ago, I had every intention of keeping this blog as up to date as possible for history's sake, well, you can see how that is going! I have found that I just don't have as much time during the day to blog like I used to. I guess having an almost 2 year old will do that!  I also have a few little projects going on right now that take up my free time when Kason is asleep or napping.

So much as happened since my last post. I guess the first major event was finding out that we were expecting another baby. I am due with baby #2 next month! My official due date is July 10th, but you know I would definitely be okay if baby decided to come a bit earlier than that. Also, we found out that baby #2 is a little girl. I am so excited to be adding a little girl to our family. Kason is already so cute with "Be-be." He loves to kiss my belly and call his sister by name, he also loves to throw all of his stuff into her crib for some reason. I hope these last 2 and 1/2 weeks fly by! We are so anxious to welcome the new baby into our home. 

Kind of being shy and not wanting to show her face. 

The next major event was getting to spend Christmas in Croatia. It was so fun to be able to spend almost 3 weeks with Jake's parents and siblings. We were able to see and do so many fun things while we were there.  There are some really beautiful sights in that part of the world that we were lucky enough to be able to see. The traveling over there was a bit of a stress.  We had Kason who was 14 months old at the time and it was a tad bit stressful trying to travel 20 hours with a toddler. We had multiple layovers, a canceled flight, and hours spent waiting in line, but we finally made it, and considering the circumstances, Kason did really quite well. 

Cathedral in Centar

Christmas Decor in Centar

Lake Bled in Slovenia

Such a sweet picture!

Lake Bohinj in Slovenia

Adriatic Coast in Zadar, Croatia

After returning from Croatia we spent time with family. We enjoyed having Jake's siblings visit us the month of February. Almost every weekend we had someone staying with us and it was so much fun. We really miss getting to spend time with the Grant family now that my in-laws are in Europe. We don't get to see everyone as much, and it is so fun when we get the opportunity to do so.  Jake's brother was married in April and we were able to see everyone again for the wedding festivities. We also got to attend the Saturday morning session of General Conference while we were up there, what a neat experience that was! 

Family picture at the SLC temple

Saturday morning session of General Conference

Jake graduated with his Bachelor's and Master's of Accounting degrees at the beginning of May.  I am so proud of him and all of his hard work.  He has balanced school work, working part-time, and being a father and a husband so gracefully. He has accomplished so much the last few years and it is great to see him succeeding. It is so so so great to be at the finish line of school. Even though I graduated a couple of years ago, it has still felt a bit like I have been in school with Jake. I worry along with him when he has a test or a lot of homework, I also read and edit any papers he writes. 

The last few months have been a little more quiet. We are just anticipating and getting ready for new baby. Jake is working on his last few summer classes and doing so well.  We are also getting excited to move in September. We are starting to think about places to live in Las Vegas and getting a new car to get us down there. We just found out today that our beast of a Saturn is finally in its final days. The transmission has been going out on it for the last four years and we were told that the car would not make it more than a year. Well here we are four years later and it is finally really about to die. We were hoping the car would get us through school and sure enough, it did! We took it in for an oil change just today and the mechanic said the car was not even worth an oil change, he recommended just driving it until it dies, or selling it to a junk yard. What a good car the Saturn has been, but it is time to move on.  Big changes coming soon!

Happy Cranioversary!

What is a cranioversary you ask? Well it is like an anniversary in that it happens once a year, and the cranio part of the word is for craniosynostosis. So putting them together means that we have hit our one year mark since Kason's cranio surgery. Whoa! Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday it was October 22, 2013 when he was just 9 weeks old and we were handing him over to the anesthesiologist for brain surgery. As I think back on that day, to me, my life seemed to be shattering into pieces uncontrollably, and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. I was angry, sad, stressed, and above all, scared.  I was scared out of my mind. I didn't feel old enough to be the responsible parent signing surgery consent forms and getting insurance squared away. I felt like I should be the kid and my mom should have been taking care of all of that.  But no, I was the adult with the new baby.  I was the new mom who didn't have a clue as to what was going on, I was the new mom that was angry that it was her baby who needed major surgery. I had no idea what to expect.  I haven't spent too much time in hospitals, I have never had surgery, it scared me to not know what was going to be happening to my sweet baby boy. So there we were shiny brand new parents sitting in a hospital waiting room while people who were complete strangers operated on our baby. Don't get me wrong, our surgeons were wonderful, and we had heard great things about them, but we really didn't know them or know their ability to operate on such a fragile human being.  And that was scary to me. I spent the entire hour and half hoping and praying that they were skilled surgeons and that they would see my baby through. And they did.

 That night I spent in recovery with Kason was probably one of the longest nights of my life. I have spent many nights before and after that night with Kason, but none have compared to that night.  Only one parent could stay the night. I knew that parent was supposed to be me, but I have a confession, I didn't want it to be me. I wanted it to be Jake.  I was scared to be left alone with our post-op baby all night without Jake's help.  I was scared to touch or hold him because he was in so much pain. I knew that since I was his mother it was expected of me to comfort him because he was hurting, but I was scared that I wouldn't be able to do that. I was scared that Kason wouldn't be comforted by me and then I would really feel like a failure.  But I sucked it up and stayed the night. I laid awake most of the night listening to the beeping of Kason's monitor that indicated that he was still alive and well. When I did manage to sleep I was either awakened by Kason crying or by the nurses that came in several times that night to give him more pain medications and check his vitals. It definitely was a long night, but it was where I needed to be.

A few hours after surgery

Just after the pain meds kicked in....finally!

This experience  has changed me in a few ways. In my post- "Kason's Cranio" I mentioned that I wasn't grateful for our trial. I wasn't ready to be. But now, I am grateful.  It has made me more grateful in many ways. I am grateful now that it was craniosynostosis. Cranio is very curable, some children and parents don't get that. I am grateful in that it made me realize that I can handle tough situations, especially when they are not ideal. It has made me grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who helps us through those trials.  He comforted me, protected Kason, saw Kason through surgery, and gave us little reminders that he hadn't left us.

Since I am writing as a celebration of one year since surgery, I should probably put in a happy paragraph about Kason now. Kason is now 14 months old and is sweet little guy.  He is still so happy and friendly. He runs around like an Olympic runner ( I can barely keep up with him!) He is doing what little boys do I guess, getting into trouble and getting lots of scrapes and bruises. He still loves playing with balls.  He loves to play basketball with his dad. He also loves anything with a motor, cars, trucks, four-wheelers, boats, and tractors. He loves to make the "Vroom" noise whenever he sees anything that makes that noise.  He is very good at giving hugs and kisses when he is in the mood and slows down long enough to want to. He also unfortunately loves to play in the toilet. Ugh....what a mess! He is so bright and smart. We love him to death, he makes our home bright (for the most part!)

He loves watching Utah football games with Dad

He loves tractors because they say "Vroom!"

He is so big now! Look at the round head!

A small tribute to fall

Can you feel it? Fall is here! Yesterday I pulled out my long jeans and cardigan because it was too chilly for shorts and t-shirts. You see, I have this love/hate relationship with this season. I love the cooler weather, the changing leaves, the smell of my pumpkin pie spice scentsy, fall decorations, and of course the holidays. I hate this season because it also signals that winter is on the way, and I HATE winter. You would think that after living in Cedar for close to 24 years I would be used to the cold weather and the snow....Nope. I hate driving in it, I hate going out in it, and I hate having to scrape my car. The only time I enjoy the snow is around Christmas time, after that, I am done and ready for spring. 

So two weekends ago we had the chance to go to Lake Powell one last time for the summer. To get to Lake Powell we have to drive over Cedar Mountain. As we were driving I couldn't believe that the leaves on the trees were already starting to change on the top. It definitely felt like fall on our drive over. Once we got to the lake it felt like the middle summer again as the temperatures were in the high 80s and the sun was out and shining. 

Once we arrived back in Cedar, once again I was anxious for fall after the drive over the mountain. I had promised Jake that I wouldn't put any fall decorations out until October....but, I couldn't wait any longer, I put my fall wreath on the door, pulled out a few other small decorations, and threw a pumpkin pie spice wax cube in my warmer, and voila my house felt cozy. I also had the urge to bake with pumpkin, so I made a couple batches of pumpkin cookies and a couple of batches of pumpkin bars, and our house was in full fall mode.

At this moment, I love fall. I love it all. Give me a month or so and I will be sad to see it over and winter on its way. But for now, fall is good, fall is very good. 

View on the top of Cedar Mountain

Summer Summary

How can it be the beginning of August already?! Where has the summer gone? I feel like winter drags on endlessly for months and summer flies by in the blink of an eye. What a summer this has been! It has been an unusual one for sure. At the beginning we were able to attend a family reunion with Jake's Wilson family at the end of May. We were able to spend 4 beautiful days in Alta, Wyoming participating in fun activities and being with family. The first time I went to Alta a few years ago I wasn't sure if I liked it there or not. We went in the middle of March one year for spring break and it was still freezing with at least 6 inches of snow on the ground. In my mind spring break is supposed to include sunshine and warm weather. Just give it a few months and by the end of May Alta is so pretty! All the snow is melted, everything has greened up, and the temperature hangs in the mid seventies.

 At the end of the reunion we packed up and head south four hours to Salt Lake City.
We had doctor's appointments for Kason's head. We first went to the helmet facility and had his head scanned. I was feeling pretty confident that we were going to get the okay to keep the helmet off for good. After the scan was complete, the physician was really quiet. My heart sank. I asked if Kason's head had begun to revert back. All he said was, "his numbers did drop some." My heart sank some more. At every visit in the past, this physician was always so positive and optimistic about Kason's head shape. This visit he was quiet and just told us we would have to wait and see what Kason's surgeon, Dr. Siddiqi said. As we drove to Primary Children's Medical Center to meet with Dr. Siddiqi I felt sick. I was sure that we were going to have to keep the helmet on for another 3 months. The wait to see the surgeon felt endless. I was completely on edge. Once we made it back to the room we waited forever more. Finally.... Dr. Siddiqi came in and looked at Kason's numbers. He didn't say a word as he felt Kason's head. He said, "Everything looks great!" *Big sigh of relief* I asked about the numbers of the scan and he told us that he isn't concerned about the numbers as much as he is about the shape of Kason's head and if the soft soft closed up properly. The doctor said Kason's head was one of the best he has seen! *Another big sigh of relief* We were cleared to leave the helmet off for good.  Yay!

Next we were off to a week long Grant Family Reunion at Lake Powell. We left on Tuesday and stayed until Saturday. We had so much fun being with all of Jake's family. We had two houseboats for all of the family and we enjoyed days of swimming, playing, wakeboarding, boating, and relaxing.  Kason loved riding around on the paddle board and riding on the boat. We sure do love Lake Powell.

After the trip to Lake Powell we said goodbye to Jake's parents who were off to Croatia to begin their 3 year mission. We have truly missed them this summer. About the same time, Jake and I took off to Las Vegas for the summer. (see post "Livin' in LV" for our Las Vegas Adventures)

 

On August 15 we moved back to Cedar City! We enjoyed another trip to Lake Powell and a cabin trip. Kason turned 1 year old on August 19. I can't believe that my baby is transitioning into toddler years! He is such a joy to have in our family. He is walking everywhere these days, loves playing with balls, learns new words every week- currently his two favorite words are ba (ball) and bompa (grandpa). We celebrated by having family over for a BBQ and cake. At first Kason wasn't sure what to do with his cake, he made the funniest faces when we set it in front of him.  But after a minute or so he caught on and made a mess!

Here we are to September.  Jake is back in school and enjoying his semester so far. Also, a little side note, September is Craniosynostosis Awareness month! We sure do love our little cranio baby. We are so happy that we are almost to the one year mark of his surgery. He has handled it all like a champ and we couldn't be more proud! We love you Kason!

Last weekend we attended the Great American Stampede Rodeo. Jake and I try to attend one rodeo a year. I don't know why we like them so much, but we do. It was a fun date night and it was fun to have an evening together without the baby.

We had a couple of Jake's siblings visit this past weekend. It was so fun to have visitors and to spend time with some of Jake's family that we don't see as much of. Jake's sister took some new family pictures of us, which turned out so stinking cute! Thanks Rachel! We also attended SUU's homecoming football game. Even though they lost, it was a fun date night.

That wraps up my summer summary. Fall is quickly approaching and I am so excited! Hopefully I can post more frequently!

Livin' in LV

 Jake and I are enjoying our time in Las Vegas. Jake is settling into his new job nicely and I am settling into a routine here in LV.  We have had quite a few adventures of our own in just a few short weeks. We discovered that we had carpet beetles....ick! We saw them diving into the carpet one Sunday afternoon and were totally freaked out, considering Kason spends most of his day on the carpet. We called the main office and were told that pest control could take care of them! Yay!  Also, on that same Sunday we discovered that our oven didn't work! I tried to make biscuits for Sunday dinner and they took several hours instead of 12 minutes. Nobody has been by to look at the problem, despite my submitting a work order! Kason cut his very first tooth a few weeks ago.  He was quite sick while teething, probably the sickest he has ever been. He was running a fever of 103! Jake was in Los Angeles for training and I was all by myself! Of course Kason would be the sickest he has ever been when I was all alone in a new city. Talk about panic! But after that little pearly white popped through he was fine!  I am just praying that the next tooth is a little bit easier. It was a very long week to say the least. I enjoyed how totally cuddly he was because Kason is NOT a snuggler, but at the same time I hated it, knowing he was feeling horrible and I hated seeing him so miserable. He was also mega clingy and whiny, which was out of character for him, and to top it off he was waking up several times a night just screaming! Poor bug, he was miserable. Thankfully is is back to his old self, which means no more cuddling for mamma.  Now, on to some adventures I never expected to experience. Our first week here, we witnessed a man steal an ice cream cake from Cold Stone! He just took the cake and darted across a very busy road to the mall across the street. Well, I should clarify, we didn't WITNESS him not pay for the cake, but we saw him take it out of the freezer and loiter with it for a few minutes, and he followed us out the door and across the road.  We know he didn't pay for it because the line was horrendous when we left and he wasn't even standing in it. Our next burglary experience happened just a few days ago, remember the carpet beetles and pest control? Well, we authorized them to come and spray when we were in Cedar City for the 4th of July. (I know now, that was not smart.) We returned Sunday night and I noticed a box of band-aids on the counter. I know that I didn't leave them there, I make sure everything is put away when we leave town. That box of band-aids was in a plastic tote in a cupboard when we left town. We opened the tote and there was an empty bottle that contained prescription Tylenol. I know that the bottle was full because I went through the tote before we moved down Las Vegas. The pest control person had helped himself or herself to the Tylenol that was prescribed to me after I delivered Kason. He/she also forgot to put the band-aids back, had they put them back, we probably would never had known! Thank goodness we didn't have any of Kason's oxycodone left from his head surgery. Jake and I have enjoyed trying new restaurants that we can't experience in Cedar City, it is a fun place to live, despite the mishaps and heat. We stay cool by going to one of the three pools in our apartment complex. Kason is such a water baby!  It is a fun new experience for us considering we have lived in Cedar our whole married lives. It has been fun to experience something new. 

On My Mind Lately...

So as of lately I have been thinking a lot about "The Mommy Wars." Some of you may have heard of them. For those that have not, "The Mommy Wars" was a term that was originally used to describe the controversy between working moms and stay-at-home moms. Lately, this term is being used to describe other parenting issues such as breast feeding vs. formula feeding.  This post is not to add to the "Mommy Wars," but it is my own personal thoughts over the last few weeks. I am not saying my way is best, I am just writing down my thoughts about how it is okay for every mom to raise their child differently. 

Moms are posting on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. what they believe are the best ways to be raising children. My own social media feeds are blowing up with pictures, research, and links to articles that are supposed to be the best ways to be raising babies, and for some, it is exactly the right way, but for others, it may not be. 

After  reading the shared articles and realizing that I am not doing what the "experts" say I should be doing, I am left with a nagging thought in the back of mind, wondering if I am being the best mom I can be to my son. I quit nursing my son after two months, yep that is right he is 100% formula fed and has been since October. Now I know that "breast is best," but I was one of those women who had all different kinds of problems with nursing. It was one problem after another and I was completely miserable. I did do it for two months and I tried to keep an open mind, but in the end I just couldn't do it. Kason also preferred the bottle and nursing him was a battle. For the sake of my marriage and the relationship with my baby, I quit the nursing and moved to the bottle. It has been great, we are all happy. I am no longer miserable and crying to my husband every time I feed the baby, and the baby loves his bottles. 

 I started feeding him rice cereal at 3 1/2 months instead of waiting until 4-6 months. I started feeding him fruits and vegetables at 4 months. Guess what? He loves the cereal, fruits, and veggies. He hasn't developed any allergies and he is fuller longer. He is not screaming every hour and a half because he is hungry. He also sleeps through the night because those stay with him longer. 

 He has been sleeping in his own crib in his own room down the hall since he was 1 month old. Now I know that you are supposed to wait until they are 6 months old to move them into a crib in their own room, but we all sleep better with our rooms. When we go on trips, Kason sleeps in the same room as us, and he doesn't sleep as good as he does at home. When Kason shares a room with Jake and I, none of us get as much sleep. Our noises and movements wake him up, and vice versa. That first month when Kason was in our room I would hear every movement he made and would wake up and feed him. He wasn't always really awake, and we were waking up more than we probably had to. He would whimper a little and I would think he was awake and hungry and so I would flip on the light which would really wake him up. Now that  he is in his room I can't hear every little whimper and I only wake up when he cries and I know he is really awake. I walk down the hall and take care of things in his room. My husband who is in school and working also sleeps better because I am not flipping on the light and making noise. He sleeps so much better in his own room and so do I. 

 Dare I say it?  I put him to sleep on his belly. Yes, you read that right, I put my baby to bed on his belly. For the first 3 months I put him on his back which worked alright, but after Kason had his surgery and he had his helmet on, "Back to Bed" was not working for us. On the back of Kason's helmet there is a large strap that holds the two pieces of the helmet together, and every time I laid him down he would jolt awake because he was uncomfortable in the helmet. The large strap made it impossible for him to lay flat and the helmet would dig into his neck. After several nights of him being up every hour because he was uncomfortable, I finally put my fears aside and put him to bed on his belly. He slept so much better! I was so scared to do this because it is a big "no-no," but he was so uncomfortable and he was rolling to his belly by himself in his crib anyway so I decided to try it one night. I must have checked on him 30 times that night because I was so nervous, but he did just fine, he loved it. I was put to bed on my belly and I survived.

All of these "confessions" go against all of the expert articles that I have read. So is my baby not bonding with me like he should be because he isn't breast fed and he sleeps in his own room? I don't think so! We have plenty of play time and I enjoy looking and smiling at him when he drinks his bottle. For those that do choose to co-sleep, that is great! I just couldn't do it! 

Only within the last week or so have I realized that yes, I may be doing it differently than some, but I am not a bad mom. There is not a one size fits all for raising a baby. What is important is that as a mother I am listening to my baby and my instinct and I am doing what is best for us. I think each mom knows what is best when it comes to her child.  I have a happy, healthy, six month old who is thriving.  I have nothing to be ashamed of. Sure, I may not be doing the same thing as other moms, but that is okay. I love my son, and I am pretty sure he loves me, and that is what is important. 

I know that Kason came to our family because we are the best fit for him, and him for us. Babies go to the families that will be the best at raising them. Each mom raises their child differently, and it works for them. I know that now, I don't have to be doing it the same as everyone else. I just need to be me, and I am raising Kason in the best way for him.