Happy Cranioversary!

What is a cranioversary you ask? Well it is like an anniversary in that it happens once a year, and the cranio part of the word is for craniosynostosis. So putting them together means that we have hit our one year mark since Kason's cranio surgery. Whoa! Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday it was October 22, 2013 when he was just 9 weeks old and we were handing him over to the anesthesiologist for brain surgery. As I think back on that day, to me, my life seemed to be shattering into pieces uncontrollably, and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. I was angry, sad, stressed, and above all, scared.  I was scared out of my mind. I didn't feel old enough to be the responsible parent signing surgery consent forms and getting insurance squared away. I felt like I should be the kid and my mom should have been taking care of all of that.  But no, I was the adult with the new baby.  I was the new mom who didn't have a clue as to what was going on, I was the new mom that was angry that it was her baby who needed major surgery. I had no idea what to expect.  I haven't spent too much time in hospitals, I have never had surgery, it scared me to not know what was going to be happening to my sweet baby boy. So there we were shiny brand new parents sitting in a hospital waiting room while people who were complete strangers operated on our baby. Don't get me wrong, our surgeons were wonderful, and we had heard great things about them, but we really didn't know them or know their ability to operate on such a fragile human being.  And that was scary to me. I spent the entire hour and half hoping and praying that they were skilled surgeons and that they would see my baby through. And they did.

 That night I spent in recovery with Kason was probably one of the longest nights of my life. I have spent many nights before and after that night with Kason, but none have compared to that night.  Only one parent could stay the night. I knew that parent was supposed to be me, but I have a confession, I didn't want it to be me. I wanted it to be Jake.  I was scared to be left alone with our post-op baby all night without Jake's help.  I was scared to touch or hold him because he was in so much pain. I knew that since I was his mother it was expected of me to comfort him because he was hurting, but I was scared that I wouldn't be able to do that. I was scared that Kason wouldn't be comforted by me and then I would really feel like a failure.  But I sucked it up and stayed the night. I laid awake most of the night listening to the beeping of Kason's monitor that indicated that he was still alive and well. When I did manage to sleep I was either awakened by Kason crying or by the nurses that came in several times that night to give him more pain medications and check his vitals. It definitely was a long night, but it was where I needed to be.

A few hours after surgery

Just after the pain meds kicked in....finally!

This experience  has changed me in a few ways. In my post- "Kason's Cranio" I mentioned that I wasn't grateful for our trial. I wasn't ready to be. But now, I am grateful.  It has made me more grateful in many ways. I am grateful now that it was craniosynostosis. Cranio is very curable, some children and parents don't get that. I am grateful in that it made me realize that I can handle tough situations, especially when they are not ideal. It has made me grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who helps us through those trials.  He comforted me, protected Kason, saw Kason through surgery, and gave us little reminders that he hadn't left us.

Since I am writing as a celebration of one year since surgery, I should probably put in a happy paragraph about Kason now. Kason is now 14 months old and is sweet little guy.  He is still so happy and friendly. He runs around like an Olympic runner ( I can barely keep up with him!) He is doing what little boys do I guess, getting into trouble and getting lots of scrapes and bruises. He still loves playing with balls.  He loves to play basketball with his dad. He also loves anything with a motor, cars, trucks, four-wheelers, boats, and tractors. He loves to make the "Vroom" noise whenever he sees anything that makes that noise.  He is very good at giving hugs and kisses when he is in the mood and slows down long enough to want to. He also unfortunately loves to play in the toilet. Ugh....what a mess! He is so bright and smart. We love him to death, he makes our home bright (for the most part!)

He loves watching Utah football games with Dad

He loves tractors because they say "Vroom!"

He is so big now! Look at the round head!

A small tribute to fall

Can you feel it? Fall is here! Yesterday I pulled out my long jeans and cardigan because it was too chilly for shorts and t-shirts. You see, I have this love/hate relationship with this season. I love the cooler weather, the changing leaves, the smell of my pumpkin pie spice scentsy, fall decorations, and of course the holidays. I hate this season because it also signals that winter is on the way, and I HATE winter. You would think that after living in Cedar for close to 24 years I would be used to the cold weather and the snow....Nope. I hate driving in it, I hate going out in it, and I hate having to scrape my car. The only time I enjoy the snow is around Christmas time, after that, I am done and ready for spring. 

So two weekends ago we had the chance to go to Lake Powell one last time for the summer. To get to Lake Powell we have to drive over Cedar Mountain. As we were driving I couldn't believe that the leaves on the trees were already starting to change on the top. It definitely felt like fall on our drive over. Once we got to the lake it felt like the middle summer again as the temperatures were in the high 80s and the sun was out and shining. 

Once we arrived back in Cedar, once again I was anxious for fall after the drive over the mountain. I had promised Jake that I wouldn't put any fall decorations out until October....but, I couldn't wait any longer, I put my fall wreath on the door, pulled out a few other small decorations, and threw a pumpkin pie spice wax cube in my warmer, and voila my house felt cozy. I also had the urge to bake with pumpkin, so I made a couple batches of pumpkin cookies and a couple of batches of pumpkin bars, and our house was in full fall mode.

At this moment, I love fall. I love it all. Give me a month or so and I will be sad to see it over and winter on its way. But for now, fall is good, fall is very good. 

View on the top of Cedar Mountain

Summer Summary

How can it be the beginning of August already?! Where has the summer gone? I feel like winter drags on endlessly for months and summer flies by in the blink of an eye. What a summer this has been! It has been an unusual one for sure. At the beginning we were able to attend a family reunion with Jake's Wilson family at the end of May. We were able to spend 4 beautiful days in Alta, Wyoming participating in fun activities and being with family. The first time I went to Alta a few years ago I wasn't sure if I liked it there or not. We went in the middle of March one year for spring break and it was still freezing with at least 6 inches of snow on the ground. In my mind spring break is supposed to include sunshine and warm weather. Just give it a few months and by the end of May Alta is so pretty! All the snow is melted, everything has greened up, and the temperature hangs in the mid seventies.

 At the end of the reunion we packed up and head south four hours to Salt Lake City.
We had doctor's appointments for Kason's head. We first went to the helmet facility and had his head scanned. I was feeling pretty confident that we were going to get the okay to keep the helmet off for good. After the scan was complete, the physician was really quiet. My heart sank. I asked if Kason's head had begun to revert back. All he said was, "his numbers did drop some." My heart sank some more. At every visit in the past, this physician was always so positive and optimistic about Kason's head shape. This visit he was quiet and just told us we would have to wait and see what Kason's surgeon, Dr. Siddiqi said. As we drove to Primary Children's Medical Center to meet with Dr. Siddiqi I felt sick. I was sure that we were going to have to keep the helmet on for another 3 months. The wait to see the surgeon felt endless. I was completely on edge. Once we made it back to the room we waited forever more. Finally.... Dr. Siddiqi came in and looked at Kason's numbers. He didn't say a word as he felt Kason's head. He said, "Everything looks great!" *Big sigh of relief* I asked about the numbers of the scan and he told us that he isn't concerned about the numbers as much as he is about the shape of Kason's head and if the soft soft closed up properly. The doctor said Kason's head was one of the best he has seen! *Another big sigh of relief* We were cleared to leave the helmet off for good.  Yay!

Next we were off to a week long Grant Family Reunion at Lake Powell. We left on Tuesday and stayed until Saturday. We had so much fun being with all of Jake's family. We had two houseboats for all of the family and we enjoyed days of swimming, playing, wakeboarding, boating, and relaxing.  Kason loved riding around on the paddle board and riding on the boat. We sure do love Lake Powell.

After the trip to Lake Powell we said goodbye to Jake's parents who were off to Croatia to begin their 3 year mission. We have truly missed them this summer. About the same time, Jake and I took off to Las Vegas for the summer. (see post "Livin' in LV" for our Las Vegas Adventures)

 

On August 15 we moved back to Cedar City! We enjoyed another trip to Lake Powell and a cabin trip. Kason turned 1 year old on August 19. I can't believe that my baby is transitioning into toddler years! He is such a joy to have in our family. He is walking everywhere these days, loves playing with balls, learns new words every week- currently his two favorite words are ba (ball) and bompa (grandpa). We celebrated by having family over for a BBQ and cake. At first Kason wasn't sure what to do with his cake, he made the funniest faces when we set it in front of him.  But after a minute or so he caught on and made a mess!

Here we are to September.  Jake is back in school and enjoying his semester so far. Also, a little side note, September is Craniosynostosis Awareness month! We sure do love our little cranio baby. We are so happy that we are almost to the one year mark of his surgery. He has handled it all like a champ and we couldn't be more proud! We love you Kason!

Last weekend we attended the Great American Stampede Rodeo. Jake and I try to attend one rodeo a year. I don't know why we like them so much, but we do. It was a fun date night and it was fun to have an evening together without the baby.

We had a couple of Jake's siblings visit this past weekend. It was so fun to have visitors and to spend time with some of Jake's family that we don't see as much of. Jake's sister took some new family pictures of us, which turned out so stinking cute! Thanks Rachel! We also attended SUU's homecoming football game. Even though they lost, it was a fun date night.

That wraps up my summer summary. Fall is quickly approaching and I am so excited! Hopefully I can post more frequently!

Livin' in LV

 Jake and I are enjoying our time in Las Vegas. Jake is settling into his new job nicely and I am settling into a routine here in LV.  We have had quite a few adventures of our own in just a few short weeks. We discovered that we had carpet beetles....ick! We saw them diving into the carpet one Sunday afternoon and were totally freaked out, considering Kason spends most of his day on the carpet. We called the main office and were told that pest control could take care of them! Yay!  Also, on that same Sunday we discovered that our oven didn't work! I tried to make biscuits for Sunday dinner and they took several hours instead of 12 minutes. Nobody has been by to look at the problem, despite my submitting a work order! Kason cut his very first tooth a few weeks ago.  He was quite sick while teething, probably the sickest he has ever been. He was running a fever of 103! Jake was in Los Angeles for training and I was all by myself! Of course Kason would be the sickest he has ever been when I was all alone in a new city. Talk about panic! But after that little pearly white popped through he was fine!  I am just praying that the next tooth is a little bit easier. It was a very long week to say the least. I enjoyed how totally cuddly he was because Kason is NOT a snuggler, but at the same time I hated it, knowing he was feeling horrible and I hated seeing him so miserable. He was also mega clingy and whiny, which was out of character for him, and to top it off he was waking up several times a night just screaming! Poor bug, he was miserable. Thankfully is is back to his old self, which means no more cuddling for mamma.  Now, on to some adventures I never expected to experience. Our first week here, we witnessed a man steal an ice cream cake from Cold Stone! He just took the cake and darted across a very busy road to the mall across the street. Well, I should clarify, we didn't WITNESS him not pay for the cake, but we saw him take it out of the freezer and loiter with it for a few minutes, and he followed us out the door and across the road.  We know he didn't pay for it because the line was horrendous when we left and he wasn't even standing in it. Our next burglary experience happened just a few days ago, remember the carpet beetles and pest control? Well, we authorized them to come and spray when we were in Cedar City for the 4th of July. (I know now, that was not smart.) We returned Sunday night and I noticed a box of band-aids on the counter. I know that I didn't leave them there, I make sure everything is put away when we leave town. That box of band-aids was in a plastic tote in a cupboard when we left town. We opened the tote and there was an empty bottle that contained prescription Tylenol. I know that the bottle was full because I went through the tote before we moved down Las Vegas. The pest control person had helped himself or herself to the Tylenol that was prescribed to me after I delivered Kason. He/she also forgot to put the band-aids back, had they put them back, we probably would never had known! Thank goodness we didn't have any of Kason's oxycodone left from his head surgery. Jake and I have enjoyed trying new restaurants that we can't experience in Cedar City, it is a fun place to live, despite the mishaps and heat. We stay cool by going to one of the three pools in our apartment complex. Kason is such a water baby!  It is a fun new experience for us considering we have lived in Cedar our whole married lives. It has been fun to experience something new. 

On My Mind Lately...

So as of lately I have been thinking a lot about "The Mommy Wars." Some of you may have heard of them. For those that have not, "The Mommy Wars" was a term that was originally used to describe the controversy between working moms and stay-at-home moms. Lately, this term is being used to describe other parenting issues such as breast feeding vs. formula feeding.  This post is not to add to the "Mommy Wars," but it is my own personal thoughts over the last few weeks. I am not saying my way is best, I am just writing down my thoughts about how it is okay for every mom to raise their child differently. 

Moms are posting on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. what they believe are the best ways to be raising children. My own social media feeds are blowing up with pictures, research, and links to articles that are supposed to be the best ways to be raising babies, and for some, it is exactly the right way, but for others, it may not be. 

After  reading the shared articles and realizing that I am not doing what the "experts" say I should be doing, I am left with a nagging thought in the back of mind, wondering if I am being the best mom I can be to my son. I quit nursing my son after two months, yep that is right he is 100% formula fed and has been since October. Now I know that "breast is best," but I was one of those women who had all different kinds of problems with nursing. It was one problem after another and I was completely miserable. I did do it for two months and I tried to keep an open mind, but in the end I just couldn't do it. Kason also preferred the bottle and nursing him was a battle. For the sake of my marriage and the relationship with my baby, I quit the nursing and moved to the bottle. It has been great, we are all happy. I am no longer miserable and crying to my husband every time I feed the baby, and the baby loves his bottles. 

 I started feeding him rice cereal at 3 1/2 months instead of waiting until 4-6 months. I started feeding him fruits and vegetables at 4 months. Guess what? He loves the cereal, fruits, and veggies. He hasn't developed any allergies and he is fuller longer. He is not screaming every hour and a half because he is hungry. He also sleeps through the night because those stay with him longer. 

 He has been sleeping in his own crib in his own room down the hall since he was 1 month old. Now I know that you are supposed to wait until they are 6 months old to move them into a crib in their own room, but we all sleep better with our rooms. When we go on trips, Kason sleeps in the same room as us, and he doesn't sleep as good as he does at home. When Kason shares a room with Jake and I, none of us get as much sleep. Our noises and movements wake him up, and vice versa. That first month when Kason was in our room I would hear every movement he made and would wake up and feed him. He wasn't always really awake, and we were waking up more than we probably had to. He would whimper a little and I would think he was awake and hungry and so I would flip on the light which would really wake him up. Now that  he is in his room I can't hear every little whimper and I only wake up when he cries and I know he is really awake. I walk down the hall and take care of things in his room. My husband who is in school and working also sleeps better because I am not flipping on the light and making noise. He sleeps so much better in his own room and so do I. 

 Dare I say it?  I put him to sleep on his belly. Yes, you read that right, I put my baby to bed on his belly. For the first 3 months I put him on his back which worked alright, but after Kason had his surgery and he had his helmet on, "Back to Bed" was not working for us. On the back of Kason's helmet there is a large strap that holds the two pieces of the helmet together, and every time I laid him down he would jolt awake because he was uncomfortable in the helmet. The large strap made it impossible for him to lay flat and the helmet would dig into his neck. After several nights of him being up every hour because he was uncomfortable, I finally put my fears aside and put him to bed on his belly. He slept so much better! I was so scared to do this because it is a big "no-no," but he was so uncomfortable and he was rolling to his belly by himself in his crib anyway so I decided to try it one night. I must have checked on him 30 times that night because I was so nervous, but he did just fine, he loved it. I was put to bed on my belly and I survived.

All of these "confessions" go against all of the expert articles that I have read. So is my baby not bonding with me like he should be because he isn't breast fed and he sleeps in his own room? I don't think so! We have plenty of play time and I enjoy looking and smiling at him when he drinks his bottle. For those that do choose to co-sleep, that is great! I just couldn't do it! 

Only within the last week or so have I realized that yes, I may be doing it differently than some, but I am not a bad mom. There is not a one size fits all for raising a baby. What is important is that as a mother I am listening to my baby and my instinct and I am doing what is best for us. I think each mom knows what is best when it comes to her child.  I have a happy, healthy, six month old who is thriving.  I have nothing to be ashamed of. Sure, I may not be doing the same thing as other moms, but that is okay. I love my son, and I am pretty sure he loves me, and that is what is important. 

I know that Kason came to our family because we are the best fit for him, and him for us. Babies go to the families that will be the best at raising them. Each mom raises their child differently, and it works for them. I know that now, I don't have to be doing it the same as everyone else. I just need to be me, and I am raising Kason in the best way for him. 

Craft-Menu Board

I have been wanting to make a menu board for months now, but just didn't know how to go about doing it. After getting a few ideas off of Pinterest, I combined things I liked and created my very own menu board. I made this craft for under $20 dollars.

Supplies:
insulated cookie sheet ( I chose one with a hole in the top, just to make it easier to hang)
coordinating paper
poster putty
velcro
magnetic pencil cup
small notepad
cheap magnets
hot glue gun
vinyl
ribbon

The most challenging part of this craft for me was figuring out how to get the paper to stick to the cookie sheet. I found that small amounts of poster putty worked great! I would just place small amounts around the edges. I would just make sure the pieces were pulled flat so that the paper wouldn't look bubbled. Maybe I did it the hard way? I don't know, as I said before, I didn't know how to go about this craft and so this craft was a lot of trial and error.

Once I got the paper to stick and look smooth, I cut the vinyl. I used my Cricut to cut the word the "Menu" and the days of the weeks for the magnets. If you don't have access to vinyl, paper will work just fine.

I then set about making the magnets for each day of the week. I just bought cheap magnets at Walmart. I cut seven 1 inch circles using my Cricut. I then pulled the clear bauble away from the magnet and stuck my own circles on top of the magnet. I then used a hot glue gun to glue the bauble back on.

For the grocery shopping list notebook I used velcro to adhere it to the board. I then made the dinner cards and placed them in the magnetic pencil cup.

I then threaded ribbon through the handy dandy hole at the top of the sheet and tied a knot. And tada! Menu board complete!

I am really excited with how this turned out. I got really frustrated trying to figure out how to make the paper stick,  but once that was solved I loved this project. I am so excited to begin using it. I am hoping that it will help me to get organized in my meal planning and shopping.

New Year....New Post

It has been quite some time since I lasted posted. I thought I would write a quick update on our lives for the last couple of months. We enjoyed the holiday season. We spent Thanksgiving with the Grants. All eight of Jake's siblings and their families were able to come to Cedar City for Thanksgiving. We enjoyed various activities such as movies, games, and of course....food! It was so fun to be able to be together with the entire family. Jake's parents have been called to serve a mission in Croatia starting on June 21, 2014. We are really excited for them and this opportunity. This past Thanksgiving was the last Thanksgiving everyone will spend together in quite some time. We then spent Christmas with the Garretts. Once again we enjoyed movies, parties, ice skating, and once again....food!  Jake spoiled me for Christmas, and of course we spoiled Kason. I know Kason was too young to appreciate any of the presents, we still had fun buying him things and setting them out on Christmas Eve. However, Kason did enjoy unwrapping presents, he enjoyed looking at and playing with all of the pretty paper and bows.

Jake finished up another semester at SUU in accounting. He did really well in all of classes even though we had quite a bit going on in our lives during the last semester. I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished! He worked hard to stay on top of his classes while we were up north for Kason's appointments and surgery. He has started a new semester and is getting closer to graduating next December. He also just accepted an eight week internship with Deloitte in Las Vegas, Nevada! We will be moving down there this summer. I am so proud of him! Jake was also released from his calling a week or so ago. He was released as the 2nd counselor in the YSA 13th ward. Jake did a great job in his calling and I think we are both going to miss the YSA ward a little bit. Although, we are excited to start attending our new ward next week.

I have been busy staying at home and taking care of Kason. He is definitely an energetic little guy. He already has so much personality.  He is not one for snuggling and cuddling anymore. When he is awake he wants to be looking around and seeing what is going on.  He takes quite a bit of entertaining. He is so interactive and happy, he just wants to be talked to and smiled at all of the time. It is hard to get anything done when a cute little guy such as himself wants my attention. During his naps I try to get some cleaning or laundry done, I also enjoy scrapbooking and crafting during that time as well.

Kason is doing so great. He has adjusted to his helmet, and we discovered he is so used to it that he actually sleeps better with it on! He has started eating rice cereal as well as fruits and veggies. He enjoys those quite a bit! He has also started sleeping through the night consistently....hooray! We have also discovered that Kason is a water baby. We have taken him to the swimming pool twice now and both times he has loved it! He splashes and plays and cries when we get out. We are pretty excited that he likes the water, since both us enjoy it as well.  Kason is his usual happy, smiley self.  He loves to play and giggle. He is such a happy baby, I love it! I think I have one of the cutest kids around, I know, I know, I have to say that because I am his mom, but it is true!

Enjoying the swimming pool together

Enjoying ice skating as a family

Kason on November 22, 2013- One month Post-Op